


What the Heart Wants

by HinnyBellarkeSwan



Series: What the Heart Wants [1]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Post-Episode AU: 5x01 Partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23465797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinnyBellarkeSwan/pseuds/HinnyBellarkeSwan
Summary: AU from episode 5x01 and the deleted scene. Jamie walks into the bar that night. This is where it leads.
Relationships: Edit "Eddie" Janko/Jamie Reagan
Series: What the Heart Wants [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688077
Kudos: 17





	What the Heart Wants

Jamie was sure that his heart hadn’t stopped racing since her quip about their anniversary. He had known it was coming up. Her one-year. The end of being a rookie and being a member of the big leagues. She was already, more than, but it would soon be official. 

Then he had nearly been given a coronary by his own TO because, as he realized after talking to his sister and thinking long and hard, they were right. He had feelings for his partner. More than friends. That kiss hadn’t been a one off. It had distracted him for months. 

But Jamie knew he wasn’t someone that people stuck around for. His relationship with Sydney. Dana. The bike girl. It was obvious that Jameson Regan was not someone the fairer sex hung around for and he couldn’t risk doing something and then losing the best partnership, the best friendship, he had since his brother died. 

Turning her down to go out tonight had been the hardest thing he had to do. Eddie looked so hurt but he couldn’t trust himself around her and alcohol. Not after the few days they had had. Not after the things he had realized, more like been forced to accept. 

He hadn’t been lying, earlier, when he said she had looked like a kid in a costume that night they met. But then a few short nights later, a very similar location but in street clothes and he felt like he had been knocked upside the head. Eddie Janko had begun to prove, even then, that she was smart, funny, sarcastic as hell and beautiful. To top it all off, she drove a hell of a car. 

Erin was right. She was so his type it wasn’t even funny. 

What do I look like now? 

She had asked the question and all he had wanted to answer was his truth: beautiful, strong, resilient, a damn good cop and an amazing woman. 

A woman he hadn’t realized had spent the last year, knowing or un-knowingly helping him piece his battered heart back together. He had lost so much very quickly. His mom, Joe, Sydney. Then things had gone down with Vinny and he was left aching. In answer to that, God had left Edit Janko on the steps of the 12th that night and she had started to wake him up. 

Sure he was used to the boy scout jokes. He had been getting them his whole life. It was an easy assumption to make, but he knew that she of all people knew that there was more to him than that and that she respected him for being the type of cop he was, even if some days she seemed more like Danny than he ever would. Eddie made him laugh, made him loosen up. Reminded him that there was fun and good and relaxing things, and that it was okay every now and then to relax. She helped him let the serious mask, the one he had worn most of his life, fade. 

Eddie Janko had made a lot of things in his life fade, or made them easier. It was part of why what his old TO and Erin had made him realize scared him so damn much. He didn’t want to lose her.   
So, here he was walking around to clear his thoughts, only for his thoughts to be filled with, and centered around her. So much so that he had walked straight to the bar that she was celebrating her achievements tonight. 

He could see her through the window, laughing, talking and smiling. Taking a shot, her hair falling down her back. He had to look away. Jamie tried to walk away, he did. But he ended up turning around not even a heartbeat later.

**Eddie’s POV**

Leaving Regan standing in that locker room had been so hard. The look in his eyes when she had asked him what she looked like now, it had stirred the things in her chest she had long been trying to lay to rest. 

Things like the fact that her partner was handsome, in uniform and out. She had further proof of that tonight when she had walked in on him in only his boxers. She had known Jamie was fit, trim. But seeing it, skin rippling over muscle like that, it had re-woken things that she had been trying to ignore since their kiss. 

Jamie Regan had been more to her than a TO and a partner since early into the last year of her life. She wanted nothing more than to share laughs and a pitcher with him tonight, celebrating her achievement, but she knew something was holding Jamie back. 

She hoped, however naively, that it was feelings for her holding him back. That he was worried about his famed control when mixing it with alcohol and her. Jamie’s control, his brilliance, his ability to both be a boy scout and a typical bone-headed Regan were some of the things she admired most about him. 

She had long wondered why he had never been promoted, why he hadn’t considered the Sargent’s exam if he was worried about looking like he used his hook in 1pp to get anywhere. Jamie Reagan was too good a cop to stay on the beat forever, she knew that. It scared her, not knowing when the day would come that she would have to let him walk away, on to something bigger. 

Whether that was his gold shield or some strips, she knew he would be getting a promotion. He was the type of cop the NYPD needed, especially in the changing world. He had the famous Regan passion but he also had a level head and the ability to read a room that his brother famously lacked. Eddie knew that she adored him for that, and as afraid as she was to lose him, she also wondered if it wouldn’t be good for them, force them to do something about the other side of their relationship. 

She sighed as she wandered into the bar, slapping a grin on her face and feeling it become more genuine amongst the cheers and hollers of congratulations. She allowed herself to be shed of her jacket and purse, felt a beer placed in her hands and toasts made to her and her success. The smile was easy now, but there was still an ache in her chest. 

After about an hour she found herself chatting with a friend from the academy who was also celebrating her own promotion away from rookie status when the bell over the door of the bar jingled and cheers and jeers started flying. 

Her heart stopped when she heard the words. 

Good of you to show up Regan!

Yo what took you so long Regan? 

Get the man a beer and someone find Janko her wayward pup is here!

She turned and there Jamie was shaking his head a bit ruefully at the cops around him, his eyes seemingly searching for something. Someone? She ignored the subconscious thought and felt her grin slip even a bit wider as a beer was pressed into his hands and someone waived him in her direction. 

She bid her friend a hasty farewell as she made eye contact with her partner. She missed whatever her friend said as she started pushing through the crowd to get to him. His shy smile told her that a bit of guilt, at the very least, had driven him here. Eddie did her best to ease that by flinging herself into him as soon as she was close, cheering in his ear. “Regan! You made it!” She noted he seemed chilled, like he had been outside for a while, but she ignore it, looking up into the his eyes. 

His grin was a touch forced but all Jamie. “Hey, yeah I made it.” There was something in his voice that was different, but she couldn’t decide what. Instead she gestured to his beer. “That for you or me?” 

He laughed and passed her the full drink, distance creeping between them once more and suddenly her heart ached because of it. She accepted the drink, sipping it as she stared at him. He was all stares in return and she wondered what was going on behind the mask she hadn’t seen him wear in a long time. 

She reached out, squeezing his hand and then turned, dragging him behind her to a slightly less rowdy corner of the bar. His hand in hers, his body at her back felt right. She could feel the heat emanating from him, could hear the gentle whoosh of his breath as he breathed, she was so in tune with him it was unreal. 

She stopped at a high tabletop in the corner and turned back to him, but she didn’t drop his hand. She gave him a huge smile and Jamie returned one with the squeeze of her hand in his. 

“What changed your mind?”

*** 

Jamie stared at her for a moment, trying to decide how to answer that question. Fuck it.

“You.” 

He watched her forehead wrinkle in confusion, even as a smile tugged at her lips. “Me?” He nodded. “Yup, you. Your pretty hard to resist Janko.” That drew a surprised giggled out of her lips and he again squeezed the hand he couldn’t let go of. 

They were both standing to one side of the high table, she put her drink down and stepped a bit closer and he could again smell her perfume. Jamie found himself bringing his other hand up to brush her hair back, away from her face and taking a deep breath he admitted to something he probably should have months ago. 

“Eddie I have feelings for you. Feelings that go way beyond friendship and work partners. Yeah, you are the best partner I’ve ever had, and yeah your one of, if not my best friend, but your way more than that. I’ve been ignoring it, or trying to, but I don’t know if I can anymore.” 

Her blue eyes went wide. “You’re an amazing cop, your beautiful, you’re a badass and it’s been the best year I’ve had since my brother died riding with you. I didn’t, don’t want to lose that, but I don’t want to lose you either.” 

Eddie’s smile was soft at the end of his little speech and she took another step, banishing the space between them. She opened her mouth, about to say something in return when the a crash and a bunch of slightly drunk cheering reminded them of exactly where they were and who surrounded them. 

Her nose wrinkled and she squeezed his hand, looking up at him with a slightly imploring expression. “Wanna get out of here?” 

“It’s your night Janko. You sure?” Her nod was quick and emphatic. She downed the rest of the beer, leaving the glass on the tabletop and then tugged him back through the crowd, saying her goodbyes and goodnights. He followed suit, dropping her hand to keep attention away, but as soon as they stepped out of the bar and rounded the corner to walk back to their cars, she reached out for his hand again. 

A block away from the bar, she stopped him. She faced him, picking up the other hand and staring at him a moment before taking a deep breath. “I have feelings for you to Jamie. You sort of came out of nowhere and surprised me, but it’s been the best surprise. You’re an amazing guy lambchop and an amazing cop and partner.” 

Jamie felt the grin spread over his face at her words. He couldn’t help it, it was nice to hear that this wasn’t one-sided. She smiled in return and then, in her typical Eddie fashion, tipped her head and asked, “now what?” 

His laugh was quiet and unbearably fond. “If I knew I would tell you. I’ve been thinking about it since you walked out of that locker room Eddie.” 

She smiled and he continued. “I wanted to answer you, you know. When you asked what you look like now.” Eddie’s head again tipped in question so he took a deep breath. “You looked, still look, like a beautiful, confident, competent cop who is dedicated to helping people and is passionate and bossy, and demanding in all of the best ways.” 

Eddie’s laugh was bright before she dropped his hands to wind her arms around his waist, drawing him against her. He slid his own arms around her waist, linking his hands at the small of her back. Headlights flashed over them, once again reminding them that they were out in the open and it made Eddie laugh again. 

“Your place is closer. We can talk over beer maybe?” Her suggestion was met with a nod, but he couldn’t let her go. Not without doing one thing. 

He dipped his head, his eyes locked on hers and when hers slid closed and her head tipped slightly he knew she was on the same page. His own eyes slid closed as his lips pressed against hers again. It was just as full of feeling as their first. 

Her hand slid from his waist to the back of his head, her fingers threading through the fine hairs, earning a small moan he couldn’t quite control. Jamie could almost feel Eddie’s smirk at the noise, making him tug her that much closer. 

After a few minutes they pulled apart and sure enough, Eddie’s smirk was firmly in place. “Alright, so not completely a Boy Scout.” 

*** Eddie’s POV** 

Her body was thrumming from his kiss, from the thrill that came from the knowledge that he kissed her first. The thrill in the fact that she made him lose even a small shred of his tightly wound control- evident in that moan. 

Jamie’s laughter was music to her ears as he backed away slightly, the both of them once again remembering where they were. They resumed their walk to their cars, and when they got their they once again agreed on his place- a much needed conversation and beers. 

Eddie watched him slide behind the wheel of his car through the windshield of her own, unable to reign in her girly squeal now that she was alone. She had been to his apartment only once before, and never inside, only picking him up for a promised ride in her car while his was in the shop.This time, she comes bearing feelings and a strong hope that he will kiss her again before the night is over. That would be a much better way to celebrate her one-year anniversary. Their anniversary. 

It’s still so hard for her to believe that a year ago she did not know Jamie Regan. That a year ago she was a newly minted rookie cop, approaching a slim, well-built TO who was sipping coffee and waiting for her- not knowing that he was going to change her life. 

Now she was about to, hopefully, convince him that a change in their relationship would be okay. Maybe she could find out why he hadn’t been promoted yet, and start helping him the way he always helped her. It was, after all, the least she could do considering all the things he had done for her in the last year. 

From her very first week he had stepped up, given her great advice, had her back, and stood his ground when he needed to. He dealt with her quirks and he made her laugh. 

Jamie Reagan was a keeper, she knew that. She just hoped she could convince him to let her keep him. As a boyfriend, rather than a partner. Because while she loved riding with him, there were times where her desire would come out of the blue and shock her to her core, right there in their RMP. 

When he talked about his family, when he demonstrated with the little things, how far he would go for his family. When he disobeyed orders to take care of that kid, to show him that cops weren’t all bad. When he lowered his voice dealing with perps. When he smiled and helped little old ladies, or mom’s with kids, when he interacted with younger kids. When he smiled and the light hit him just right, or when he was blowing her away with the care he showed her. 

Eddie was in trouble, she knew that. She had fallen for him before she had even been able to catch herself. Now she had to convince Jamie to continue to fall, with her. Because she had the feeling that this could be great. Even greater than they were now. And she wanted that, badly. 

So when she pulled into a spot outside his building she took a deep breath and followed him up the stairs. When he led her into her apartment she looked around, surprised at how neat it was, despite all the slightly obvious bachelor pad touches. 

“This is a nice place Reagan.” He chuckled, dropping his bag at the foot of his couch and facing her. “It gets the job done.” His eyes followed her as she continued to glance around, she knew that he knew that she was stalling for a moment, to gain her bearings. But she couldn’t stall forever, she was tired of waiting. So, Eddie turned and faced him head on. 

“I never stopped thinking about it, that kiss. You surprised the hell out of me that Jamie.” His forehead wrinkled but she pushed on, wanting, needing to get it off her chest. “You walked my tipsy ass home, you made me leave before we did something you thought we would both regret and then you were gentleman enough to be honest with me about it the next day. You proved what I had already been learning about you. That you are a good man, a gentleman, and it made everything that much harder.” 

She stepped closer, reaching for his hand and looking up at him. “I’ve been falling for you all year, whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not. I agreed with you that day because I didn’t want to lose you, lose this thing we’ve built. But Jamie, I don’t know if I can do this anymore, pretend that you don’t mean the world to me, pretend that you aren’t more than just my work partner. I don’t want to lose you, but I needed you to know that.” 

He surprised her again, pulling her a tiny bit closer, a chuckle escaping him. “Me walking into that bar was my choice Janko. I can’t keep pretending that you don’t mean more to me either. My sister made me realize something things the other day. Things that I already knew subconsciously but that I never wanted to admit to myself because I was scared to. You’re not alone in that, nor have you been in this whole thing. From the moment you walked into my life you’ve been changing it, changing me, for the better. I was a mess when we met, whether you knew that or not, but you helped me heal and help me to see the other sides to the things in our world.”

Jamie slid an arm around her waist, drawing her the rest of the way into his chest. “I thought about things long and hard tonight, and when I walked into that bar Eddie, it was to find you and tell you exactly what I did, and then tell you this. Being your partner has been the best thing that ever happened to me, but I want to know if there’s more to this, to us. I think we could be really great, off the beat.” 

Eddie felt her smile widen. “I was really hoping you would say that.” 

“Yeah?” Rather than answer him with words she stood on her tiptoes and placed a kiss to his mouth. She wrapped an arm around his neck, the other placed over his heart and she felt his rapid heartbeat, making her giddy. 

She did that to him. Her. 

Jamie pulled away after a few minutes and she whimpered. “Eddie.” She looked up at the tone of voice. “Be my girlfriend?” She giggled, “I’d love to Reagan.” 

“Good, then you will go out with me tomorrow night?” Her nod was firm, the grin spreading wide. “Great.” Then he kissed her again and that was that. 

Sure, tomorrow they would have to talk to their sergeant, sure they still had a lot to figure out, but for now, they had this. After all, what the heart wants it gets.


End file.
